- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked ...
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. - A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Jeff's neighborhood. ...
A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Jeff's neighborhood.
"How often a week do you have sex with your wife?" asked the inquirer.
"Three times," Jeff said without hesitation.
"That is once more often than your neighbor," the inquirer said, writing.
"That makes sense," Jeff said, "after all, she's my wife." -
There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an advert in the ...
There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an advert in the paper which outlined her requirements.
She wanted a man who:
1. would treat her nicely.
2. Wouldn't run away from her.
3. Would be good in bed.
Then one day, she heard the doorbell ring and answered it. On the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.
The man says: "I'm here about the advert you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."
The lady says: "Yes, but are you good in bed?"
The man asks: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?" -
Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you ...
Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you think when I stripped 10 years ago?"
He says: "I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry".
She says: "What are you thinking now?"
"Looks like I did a pretty good job!" -
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the ...
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"
After a moment of silence, he farted. - Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes. -
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions ...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".
